Monday 19-04-2021 - 12:00

Written by Amina Sheikhi, BAME Ambassador.

 

 

Growing up loving football

 

As I walk onto the football field, my brain becomes filled with countless thoughts. ‘Remember to smile, start a conversation with others, keep smiling,’ I mentally note down all of this as I try to calm my anxiety which slowly takes over my body. As I reach the team, I attempt to look as confident as I can, straightening my posture and clearing my throat. I try to prepare myself for the conversation coming ahead. I watch as the team whisper between themselves, creating a sense of doubt within myself and making me instantly regret all my decisions. Numerous negative thoughts begin to flood into my brain; ‘I should have dropped out of football a long time ago’, ‘this is the last time; I can’t keep doing this to myself’. I try to push every deafening thought to the back of my head, hiding it all with a smile; a mask I tend to use more than I care to admit. I feel eyes piercing through my skin from every direction; feel the judgement coming from all around me.

This is the reality of being a hijabi footballer in today’s society. Growing up, I was obsessed with playing football whenever I could. Skipping lunch at school to play football with my friends became a normal part of my weekly routine. The feeling of being part of a team, laughing and encouraging each other, the rush of adrenaline and never wanting it to end created a sense of belonging between us; something I cherished deeply. Sadly, the older I got the more I realised I’m unlikely to ever experience those feelings again. Walking onto the pitch now feels like a chore, a calculated risk in which I hope the outcome will be positive. Years and years of micro-aggressions and direct discrimination lead me to be a 24-year-old battling a complicated relationship with football and questioning if I belong.

 

I was not alone in how I felt

 

After speaking with many other hijabi women, I have realised that we all share almost identical negative experiences when it comes to playing football. The similarity in our feelings and experiences is disheartening and makes me question why we still have consistent negative incidents in football. We are blatantly ignored and looked down upon, treated almost like we are not human. Feeling like we have to prove our worth over and over again yet still never accepted the same way other players are. We stick out like a sore thumb; the only players covered differently and usually the only BAME in a field of white individuals. We are also treated differently when playing a match; the referees scrutinise our every move and our team-mates ignore our presence on the pitch.

In my personal experience, I have never played with, or against a hijabi in my regional or university games, which brings in the question as to whether hijabi women are giving up on playing football completely in today’s society due to the discriminations they may have experienced. This lack of acceptance has created an invisible wall that no hijabi has been able to destroy in the U.K, there are no hijabi players in elite female football, and I’m not surprised either. We are never taken seriously; we are never given any opportunities to excel in the football world, always dealing with negative stereotypes about Muslims and irrelevant opinions about our choice of clothing, making it harder to ever get accepted into a team.

The continuous lack of opportunities and endless negative stereotypes makes me wonder why are we perceived as unable to participate in sport, why our hijab is seen so negatively and why is our pure talent being wasted? Racism and Islamophobia in sport has become more prevalent in today’s society, and it makes me question how this discrimination has become so normalised to the point where hijabis are extremely underrepresented in football.

 

Let's break the cycle

 

I believe that I, as part of the older generation who has faced all of these difficulties in the sport industry, have an obligation to break this continuous cycle of racism and discrimination. I believe that having more hijabi and other BAME players in football will create a positive ripple effect on younger players; when they see more elite players who ‘look like them’, they will have new role models that they can relate to and be more motivated to make a difference.

Creating a safe space for the younger generation to confide in is extremely important to me as it means that I would be helping them achieve their dreams whilst also breaking the stereotypes and having more hijabi football players. Creating hope for the future in younger players and bringing more awareness to this topic means that we will be able to fight more for inclusion and show the sports community that Muslim women deserve to pursue their dreams just as much as anyone else does.

 

Find out more about the amazing work being done by the BAME Ambassadors and for regular updates and exclusive content, make sure to follow @mmubame on Instagram.